I’ll never forget the day I saw someone float up to handstand in a yoga class. That day, my whole life changed. I thought, if that’s possible for them, it’s possible for me. I spent months (that turned into years) teaching myself how to handstand. Countless failures became seconds, minutes, and then hours cumulated on my hands. Every moment of everyday was an opportunity for me to gain strength and familiarity in my new favorite place. I was practicing from a place of trial, error and close observation. It wasn’t long before I could jump up, press, make shapes and hold handstand for minutes with ease. I look back now and laugh.. but at the time, I thought I was amazing at handstand.
The first day I stepped into Boulder Movement Collective, I was faced with a very humbling reality — I had no idea what proper handstand technique was. The shapes that I spent so much time mastering were actually the exact opposite of what you should do to maintain healthy shoulders and work towards the gold standard, straight line handstand. Everything I thought I knew and was great at, I had to unlearn. I vividly remember spending hours in that gym often ending in tears because the act of unlearning was.. excruciating. Not once did I think about giving up. In order to achieve the handstand skills I wanted, I knew that I had to keep working. If I could unlearn the less ideal skills that I taught myself, I would get so much further than I would if I just stayed in my comfort zone. It took so many hours, failures, and unlimited frustration.. but ultimately I unlearned. And then I learned again, but better. This time, proper handstand technique which led to achieving proper form and far more advanced variations of handstand that otherwise would not have been possible. I learned that just because I spent so much time learning something a certain way, didn’t mean that it had to be the way I did things moving forward. I learned that that awareness, was priceless — but what I hadn’t realized, was that this would apply to everything in my life moving forward.
Not everybody can relate to that version of unlearning, but everyone can relate to growing up. We were all raised differently, but we grow up and have to learn how we want to interact with the world. The older I get, the more prevalent differences between generations has become. The way that my parents were raised is very much reflected in the ways that they raised my brothers and me. In the community we lived in, there was a lot of emphasis on appearance. There was very little diversity.. in fact, diversity was made fun of, scolded, and feared. It was very common for anyone who existed outside the “norm” to be bullied and shamed for it. Bullying and shaming others was celebrated if the person doing it looked a certain way. This still happens everyday, but we are faced with a beautiful opportunity — the opportunity to unlearn what we were taught, to educate and expose ourselves to diversity, and to stand up for one another. We get to spread love and celebrate our differences. Similar to how I felt unlearning what I taught myself about handstand, this can be an extremely daunting process. It requires us to get incredibly uncomfortable. It requires us to take a hard look at our actions and hold ourselves accountable. It requires us to ask questions about why we are the way we are in order to heal and unlearn unproductive behaviors. If we can offer ourselves grace to move through the pain and shame that comes along with that inner work, we afford ourselves the possibility of setting an example for others. We can show people the rewards of unlearning. Once we unlearn, we get to learn just how unimportant appearances are. The character of a human-being is not a direct reflection of the way they look. Your appearance does not make you better or worse than anyone — all that matters is the way we treat one another.
The process of unlearning what was taught and demonstrated to us can be painful. At times it feels easier to live in the comfortable ignorance of the only thing we’ve ever known.. but in that “comfortable” place, there is limited room to grow. Recognizing that we have the ability to be different and leave a positive impression on the people we are blessed to cross paths with, is one of the greatest gifts. It requires hard, constant work.. but if we’re willing to do the work, this world becomes a far more beautiful place. By setting the example for others that it can be done, it just might inspire them to think “if it’s possible for them, it’s possible for me too”.