How Did I Get Here?

I find myself reflecting on this question a lot lately. at first, it was devastating and overwhelming. I wasn’t thinking in the context of how beautiful my life is, the countless blessings I’ve been afforded, the loving relationships, or any of my successes. I’d love to be thinking in that context, but right now, I’m taking a hard look at the dark sides.. in hopes that moving forward, each step I take is intentional and carrying me to exactly where I want to be — full of freedom and at peace.
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so.. how did I get here? where did I lose myself along the way? and how do I find my way back home?
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I think I stopped reflecting. thoughtful reflection leads to intentional improvement.. it allows us to create the reality we want.. if, we repeatedly come back to it. it’s not enough to reflect once a year, once a month, or once a week. I’m learning that for me, it’s not enough to reflect once a day.
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the only way that I find freedom and peace is to be in a constant cycle of thoughtful reflection. who am I really? what defines me? what are my values? where am I going? do my thoughts and actions align with who I am and where I want to be?
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I got here because I was too often too thoughtless. I saw progress in myself and I liked who I was becoming.. and then I turned complacent. I lost the curiosity around who I actually was and how I might turn into the person I’d like to be.. a person worthy of the extraordinary gift of life.. a person who leads by example and has something valuable to share with the world simply for existing.
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I don’t have all the answers. I’m making it very clear to myself that I will never have all the answers.. but if I continue on the path of constant, curious reflection.. I may not have all the answers, but maybe.. just maybe I will find freedom and peace. and I wish the same for you ❤️